The Situationship Survival Guide: How to Know What You Actually Are

A situationship is what happens when two people are clearly involved with each other, spending time together, texting daily, maybe sleeping together, without either one having said out loud what it actually is. It survives on the fact that neither person has asked, because asking risks getting an answer they don't want.

The problem with situationships isn't ambiguity itself. Some relationships genuinely need time before a label makes sense. The problem is when ambiguity becomes the permanent state, because nobody wants to be the one who brings it up and looks needy or intense.

A few honest questions

• Would you be upset if you found out they were seeing other people, and have either of you actually said that out loud?

• Do you make plans more than a few days out, or does everything stay last minute by unspoken agreement?

• If you imagine bringing up the relationship directly, does the thought make you anxious about their reaction specifically, or just about having an awkward conversation in general?

If the answers point toward real feelings tangled up with real avoidance, that's usually the moment worth pushing through the discomfort. Situationships don't resolve themselves. Someone has to actually ask.

Velvet Rabbit asks members to state their intentions up front, so "what are we" is a conversation you're having with someone who's already told you what they're looking for.